Tips for a Soulful Relationships

 Just sharing this article regarding soulful relationships.


If you're not married yet, share this with a
friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse
or other married couples . . . and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get
married, keep both eyes open, and after you
marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and
make a commitment to someone, don't let lust,
desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or
a low-self esteem make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself
that you can change someone or that what you
see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit to someone - over
time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves,
and differences will become more obvious. If you
love your mate and want the relationship to grow and
evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and
not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams,weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of
God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you are perfect, but are you
perfect for each other? Do you bring out the
best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise
with each other, or do you compete, compare,
and control? What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past
mistrust, past pain. You can't take someone to the altar
to alter them.

You can't make someone love you or make
someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and "a life," you won't find
yourself making someone else responsible for your
happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation,
control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not
the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are
the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What
keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
Intimacy, trust, a sense of humor,
sharing household tasks, some getaway time
without business or children, daily exchanges
(a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch,a
note). Leave a nice message on their voicemail or
send a nice email/message. Sharing common goals and interests.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away
from each other, giving each other space to
grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to
have outside interest. You can't always be
together. Give each other a sense of belonging
and assurances of commitment.

Don't try to control one another.
Learn each others family situation.
Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material
goods.

Remember, for Richer or for Poorer. If these
qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you
think."

The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8